By Ava Tramer

Beaches

Clear and sunny

Highs: 62-76; Lows: 50-56

Inland

Mostly sunny and hot

Highs: 65-83; Lows: 44-50

Deserts

Hot and sunny

Highs: 76-89; Lows: 49-61

And Santa Monica…

It’s neck and neck, ladies and gentlemen, NECK AND NECK!  First the sun rises, and it’s warm out, and then again the sun rises and it’s warm out AGAIN.  Have you SEEN anything more exciting?  Have you SEEN anything closer?  IT IS WARM!  And now we’ve reached the middle of the week, and THE SUN IS BRIGHT!  LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE SUN IS BRIGHT!  IT IS WARM!  And the weekend is approaching, and oh no the sun is SLOWING DOWN!  But wait, it pokes through the cloud and IT IS WARM AGAIN!  IT IS BRIGHT!  And the SUN WINS!  THE SUN WINS!  Well you’ve seen it here today, ladies and gentlemen, you have seen IT here today.*

*My apologies to those of you who realized that this was actually a highly dull, one-sided race, with only one contestant.  I was just doing my best to make the weather report a little bit exciting for everyone.  My apologies.